Renewed Purpose

Renew: give fresh life or strength to
Purpose: a person's sense of resolve or determination

During this journey, I have opened myself up…physically. Now it’s time to do it spiritually. With RENEWED PURPOSE (more on that toward the end).

This weekend we went to an awesome worship conference at MorningStar Ministries. Between the worship, the speakers, the prophecy booths, and the healing line…I should have been feeling much more than I did. It was then that I realized something. I didn’t feel much of anything, spiritually.

Now, before you start saying, “You’re a Christian, you are supposed to feel God all the time!” Believe me, I thought that myself. Yet, I wasn’t feeling things like I did a few months ago. Yes…I know God. Yes, it still “touched” me in my heart. But my spirit just wasn’t the same. I realized that is why I had been more depressed lately and more easily aggravated. Christians AREN’T perfect…we are just forgiven.  We ARE still human and we still have daily battles. Being a Christian just means we don’t have to do it alone. God is with us! Even if we don’t feel it.

Anyway, I had no clue why I had lost those feelings spiritually.  I only shared it with two people. My husband and my best friend. The ones, other than God, that I tell pretty much everything to. Feeling this way…NOT feeling…and finally realizing it…well it was scary. It hurt. I was upset. Even a little angry.  I mean, why me? What did I do or what didn’t I do that made me lose the feeling having the Spirit with me and feeling Him?

Some people may not understand what I am saying…and it’s ok. But others will totally understand. You can know God and be with God…but STILL not feel the Spirit with you like before. Kind of feeling numb inside at times. Unless you have felt it…you can’t ever know what NOT feeling it is like.

Well, it really got me to thinking about things. Wondering if it was something I did. Of course I had to search it out.  I found out that I am in pretty good company. There were many prophets and mighty men of God in the Bible who felt the same at some point in their lives.  David, Isaiah, Moses…so after realizing that, I didn’t feel quite as bad.  I was glad that I did some research.

Once I started questioning WHY…I started asking God to let me FEEL again. I realized that I hadn’t even been as emotional as I once was, spiritually. When I FEEL emotionally, I cry a lot. My daughter one time told me she hoped she wasn’t that emotional when she was my age.  LOL.

This morning before church, the media team met with the prayer team to have them pray with us and pray over us. It was then that God chose to pour out lots of FEELING on me. I definitely felt the Spirit of God all over me, all in me. As they were praying over me, it’s like a wall was broken down. I didn’t realize it was there until this past weekend. It was a wall that had been there for years until I finally got to know Holy Spirit, more, a few years ago. And somehow it had been built back.
Thankfully, just not as thick or tall as before. But no matter, God is bigger and stronger than any wall. God used some mighty prayer warriors to help me feel Holy Spirit in me again. It is MUCH more than a feeling…it’s a BEING.  Until you know it…I just can’t explain it.

As they were praying and I was crying (needed about 5 or 6 Kleenex) …I heard 2 words in my spirit. RENEWED PURPOSE. I knew it was God. Especially when I went and looked up the word definitions (just something I always like doing).  My friend, Patsy, was praying over me and kept praying for FRESH FIRE. New things.  That is what RENEWED means. Then Pastor spoke of the same thing today. Along with being a Warrior! Purpose means DETERMINATION. Warriors are very determined. And all weekend, people have told me that I am STRONG and BEAUTIFUL.

God has renewed me with a new determination…a new strength…a new fire. There is so much in store for now and the future. He is getting rid of the old hurts and healing them completely. He is opening me up for so much more!

Will I ever feel that way again? Possible. I’m human with human feelings and we easily get off track, get depressed, etc.  But no matter what…we MUST remember… For we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7). Faith is NOT a feeling.  It’s something you do. It’s something you KNOW. It’s believing and trusting…even when you DON’T feel it. Yes, we want to FEEL God and Holy Spirit in us…but there are times we just need to KNOW, BELIEVE, TRUST…and let that be enough.

One thing I have learned…when you start asking to FEEL God…He may just let you.  It doesn’t happen to everyone like it did me. Sometimes, we will walk along and NOT feel it for a while. Just like the mighty ones in the Bible.a Just like some people may go through life never feeling that “NOT feeling the Spirit feeling”. Each person is different. I have definitely found that out. But no matter what…I will NEVER stop believing God. KNOWING who He is and what He is. I will never give up on Him because He has never given up on me!  If I was never able to FEEL again…I would still love God and follow HIM.

Transformation 517 Journey

Transformation 517 Journey

Why “Transformation 527”?

2 Corinthians 5:17 -- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

I started this journey mid-February of this year (2016), so this is my 6-month check-in & check-up.

God is making me NEW! He has great plans for my life. Once I finally saw that I couldn’t do this alone…I started transforming.  Not just physically either!  I would say that you can only see it physically, but too many people have let me know they see the grown SPIRITUALLY and MENTALLY too!

I am more BOLD since I started this journey. I am putting each step of this transformation journey out there for the world to see. Why? Because it’s not just about me.  GOD is #1 in this journey and I have to keep that in prospective. When I start thinking about what I am doing…I remember it’s not me. Without GOD, I could NOT do any of this.  I do not have the strength, the patience, the ability, or the motivation to do this without HIM.

I have learned so much about myself IN God through this.  I CAN do much more than I ever thought possible…because with Him…ALL things are possible.

Sometimes, I do find myself over-doing it though. I have found myself injured and hurting a couple of times. And that comes from MY stubbornness…not God.  I am a Christian…but I am still human and hard headed at times.  Lol It’s hard for me to stop when I start something. Like the 5k. I was half way through…so I wanted to finish. Sometimes, I guess, BOLD can be too bold. And it’s ok. I dealt with it and God loves me just as much as if I didn’t still have that stubborn streak. Plus, I know my Heavenly Daddy has a sense of humor…so He just shakes his head at me sometimes.

He also knows that stubborn steak of mine and likes it many times. He knows that He will be able to USE that for HIS glory and use it to keep me going…especially when I feel like giving up. He will be able to use it when He needs me to help someone who doesn’t think they need it. I will be their friend…good, bad, indifferent. Until they see they can trust me.  Yes, stubborn can be good sometimes.

So…about my journey. There are things it IS and things it IS NOT…

What it is NOT…

•  It is NOT just about physical weight loss

It’s as much spiritual and mental as it is physical. I have lost just as much “spiritual/mental” weight as I have physical.

•  It is NOT a magic pill, magic shot, gimmick, or diet.

It’s hard work, dedication, eating nutritiously (80% of the time  lol), and exercise

• It’s NOT just about me.

I started out doing this for me. But it didn’t take long before I KNEW I couldn’t do it alone. I definitely had to let God in! I want all that I do…all of my movements…ALL of it to glorify HIM. I want to help others the way that He is helping me. I want to be able to share what He has done and help others learn the same!

•  It is NOT about looking good, getting skinny, wearing cute clothes, etc.

YES…all of those things are GREAT side effects of my weight loss.  But I am doing this to be HEALTHY. To be WHOLE. To find the REAL me.  Not the me that feels she isn’t good enough. I am finding who I am in CHRIST! When I know WHOSE I am…I can love MYSELF. And I do, now. Granted, I might not always like me…but I do LOVE me, now!

What it IS…

This Transformation Journey is so much more than words can describe! It is learning about ME. It is learning about GOD. It is learning about nutrition. About health. About my body. About what I can do…and even what I can’t. For at least right now.  It’s about seeing where God is leading me and seeing new dreams come to life. It’s about God moving me way outside of my box and making me see myself as HE wants me to see me. It’s about knowing WHO I belong to.

It’s about knowing that because of who I belong to…I can do ALL things through Christ. Yes…there are things that I can’t do, physically, at the moment. But in my mind, I CAN…and because of that…I believe that I WILL. I DO believe in healing….and I believe that sometimes it’s instantaneous and sometimes it comes in time.  I DO know that God has healed me in many ways. Especially emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Even physically. I have a way to go on all accounts…but much of that’s on me and how that stubbornness thing works.  But I KNOW that I know that I know that -- I AM HEALED!

Right now, I can use the dis-abilities and un-abilities that I have to help others that think they can’t do it because of their own disabilities. What satan tried to use for harm…GOD is just turning around and using for GOOD and HIS glory! And that is one thing I want to do…help others that think they can’t. I know they can. Why? Because I didn't think that I could...but I CAN and I AM. God has been there each step of the way!

So, sure, you can see that weight loss is a big part of this journey…but it’s not the ONLY part…or the biggest part. And it’s way more than physical! <3

Thank you for all of your encouragement, prayers, and inspiration. It helps keep me going on the days that I don’t feel like moving. God is AWESOME and will definitely NOT let me give up! He keeps moving me forward!

Sometimes a Break is NEEDED

When something happens in the physical...it usually also happens in the spiritual. Good or bad. That's usually just how it works. And I have been thinking about that. In the physical, I have been told that I need to rest in order to heal properly. I don't like it. It's annoying. It's aggravating. I'm tired of resting already!

Then I start to think...I believe that is what God is telling me to do with my spirit person. To rest. REST. I love my Heavenly Daddy more than anything...but just as with my physical daddy...I don't always like what I am told. lol And God is perfectly ok with me feeling that way. He's my DADDY! I think the conversation is probably like this, "But Heavenly Daddy...I don't need to rest. There's so much more I could be doing for you, for me, for everybody. I need to move. I need to do something." But His reply? "REST. STOP. BE STILL. LISTEN. HEAR."

So that is what I am going to do for a few days or so. I'm taking a hiatus from FB. I need to let my Heavenly Daddy speak to me. I need to read HIS word. I need to hear what He has to say. I need to pull myself up closer to HIM. As Josh Jarrell spoke tonight, it made me KNOW that God wants me to come closer. "Proximity to Jesus changes EVERYTHING!" It's time to go HIGHER with Him, closer to HIM.

We need to check our love relationship with Jesus. Just like our physical relationships take work...so does our spiritual. We need to love on Jesus and let Him work on us. So for the next few days, I'm going to go find my "dirt-writer" and let HIM show me the map of my life that HE is rewriting for me! I know the journey He has me on...but I can only see so far. He shows me a little more at a time. <3 So it's time to go play in the dirt with Jesus and let Him clean me up even more. To help me let go of some junk in the trunk. To be as BOLD spiritually as I am becoming physically. Because when that BOLD is happening in BOTH at the same time...there ain't no stopping what God WILL do!

So...if you need me, you can text me (that usually works best). Or you can PM me. I will still check messenger because of business and stuff. But it's time for me to HIGHER...to dig DEEPER...and to "FACETIME" with JESUS!

"I am becoming like the one I'm beholding...The old has gone and the new has come..." Funny that was sang tonight... 2 Corinthians 5:17 is what I call the "butterfly" verse. It's a very important verse to me on this journey He has me on. And it is exactly where God has me right now. TRANSFORMATION.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

I am being transformed...physically and spiritually. I have felt "stuck" for the past few weeks. And rest is NOT what I wanted to hear. But it's what God wants me to do. To just REST in HIM. It's time to let the Word pour into me.

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome services today and tonight. Exactly what I needed. Can you tell? lol

Thank you, Heavenly Daddy!

#WarriorMode #Transformation517 #REST #GodsGirl #ListeningToHIM

Knee Follow-Up

Went for my follow up with my doctor about my knee. Thankfully, prayers are being answered and it IS getting better. It was more than the mild sprain...so it can take up to 6-8 weeks to heal. No running or jogging for at least that long...and I have to start off very slow, even then. I CAN start walking, though, once the pain is gone. And I CAN start water exercises in 1-2 weeks. No matter what...if I feel pain, I gotta STOP. :-/ That ain't easy for me, now. lol

Until then, I will start to do some upper body stuff and some chair exercises. I've only rested since Saturday with my first time going out yesterday and to church last night.

Well, at least I hurt it doing something productive...rather than by getting off the couch wrong or something like that. lol Gotta keep the humor.

satan is trying to keep me down and keep me off the path that God has placed me on. The old Stephanie would have given up and probably let it defeat me. Weight loss (spiritual and physical) have both been something I have battled throughout my life. Never conquered...until NOW. This time, I am not the only one in the battle. JESUS is fighting for me and HE WINS! So that means I WIN! I REFUSE to give up the fight~ There is more than one way to skin this rabbit! lol

I chose this photo, again, because I KNOW I am healed~

Jeremiah 30:17a For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

‪#‎RunningForGod‬ ‪#‎Transformation517‬ ‪#‎RevelationWellness‬ ‪#‎NeverGiveUp‬ ‪#‎GodsGirl‬ ‪#‎GettingHealthy‬ ‪#‎HEALED‬ — feeling hopeful.

Don't Give Up

Don't ever give up or give in! God WILL provide when He has shown you where to go! Just keep believing & keep MOVING FOR HIM!

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

I Am A Warrior

Warrior: a person who fights in battles and is known for having courage and skill

I am re-sharing this photo. Why? Because God is reminding me that I AM a WARRIOR...over and over, in just the past 2 days. Many people have used that word to describe me lately. Until the past few months, I didn't let myself think that word for me. But I AM. Most know that I printed all of the Revelation Wellness - Healthy & Whole Bold in the Soul photos I did during the month of June and put them on my office door. In just the past week or so, this photo...alone...has fallen off of that door. satan is doing his best to make me forget that I am a warrior. Or to make me think that I am not a warrior. He may be able to try to show physical signs to me (like with the photo falling, the knee injury)...but he canNOT make me believe it. I KNOW that I am a WARRIOR! I WILL continue to fight for GOD. I WILL continue to fight for ME. I will continue to fight for MY journey!

My journey is NOT just about me. When I allow God to make me into the warrior that HE needs me to be...then I get stronger -- physically, spiritually, and mentally --- letting me help others to realize the Warrior in themselves!

So, satan...remember this...you are a PUNK. you are a LIAR. And you will NOT get me to stop fighting. I will only fight harder because I know that GOD is with me each step of the way and the blessings will be even GREATER!

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

‪#‎WarriorWoman‬ ‪#‎GodsWarrior‬ ‪#‎Transformation517‬ ‪#‎BoldInTheSoul‬ ‪#‎RevelationWellness‬

Sometimes Pain Happens

Well...I said earlier that I was sharing my whole journey. Being vulnerable. It's not always good and easy. So I gotta share the bad and the hard. Sometimes in getting healthy you will get hurt or injured. Especially when you are giving it your all. So here I am again.

ER visit was not how I planned to spend the time after the race...but hey, I finished the 5k strong! I hate going to the doctor unless I have to...especially the ER. Wasn't taking any chances, though, with the amount of pain I was having and not being able to move it or walk on it without MUCH pain.

No Regrets, though! I enjoyed the race and will hopefully be able to do another in a couple months! Will just do water workouts until I am completely healed.

I finally figured out what I would have to do if I need crutches, though, since I can only do certain things with my arm since I hurt it a few years back. LOL It ain't easy to use them...had to move the left hand bar up since I can't straighten my arm. But they definitely help me take the weight off of my knee. There is a way to modify most things. Just had to figure it out.

RICE...It's not just a food to eat. :-P Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation...and meds. Praying the pain gets better in the next day or two & it's just overdoing it or pulled muscles/sprain!

Prayers appreciated! I am probably not the best patient, but Paul has always been a great helper. Plus, I do not like NOT being able to be active now. I've come too far to slow down now. So once it starts feeling better...POOL TIME!

<3 #Transformation517 #KneeOuchie #CrutchesAreInteresting #RestYesStopNO #NOGivingUp #GodsGotThis #StillBLESSED #GodsGirl

You Better Run

So glad that I took the leap & joined this awesome team You Better Run. Yes, it's a run "group" but today, I found out it's so much more! I am proud, honored, blessed, & so thankful God put me there. As I was making my way up that big ol' hill at Indepenence...I look up & see Jason Easter running toward me...yelling such encouraging words! He had already finished but came back to run in with me. To get me up that hill! Reminding me how blessed I am & that I CAN DO ALL THINGS! Then Tanya Depetris & her daughter met me with water & joined us the rest of the way. At Main St, Scarlet Easter & some of the other ladies, along with Justin Collins (who had also finished) met us & we headed to the finish where the rest of the team was there cheering me on. And of course my dear Kasey Summers was cheering, videoing, & crying for me.
It wasn't about a time...it was about so much more!

Yes...it's NOT just a group. It's a TEAM. A FAMILY! And I am so glad that God placed me here. BLESSED!

#YouBetterRun #Family #Blessed #ICan #GodsGirl #Transformation517

THIS is why I love them!
If you are looking for a run group that is full of support, love, and encouragement...no matter if you walk more than you run...come join!
Click for the video of me at the end of Downtown Rocks & Runs (video by Kasey Summers, one of my trainers)

Downtown Rocks & Runs Video

Here are some of the ladies from You Better Run run group!

Nothing is Impossible -- Downtown Rocks & Runs

My knee was hurting, I was tired...but I pushed through to the finish. And I was jogging when I went through the finish line.

Don't EVER let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Especially yourself. Shut those voices down and remind them...

Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

‪#‎GodsGirl‬ ‪#‎Blessed‬ ‪#‎YBRGroup‬ ‪#‎Transformation517‬ ‪#‎ICAN‬ ‪#‎IDid‬ ‪#‎DowntownRocksAndRuns‬ ‪#‎MayberryNC‬

Running for God!

My knee has felt much better since Sunday. Decided to try running a bit today. I was able to do a little bit before we decided it was probably best to go back and rest it until the 5k on Saturday. I am determined to be there and finish it like I had planned! Might be about the same as last time...but I will put all my effort into it. Why? I ain't just running for me. I'm RUNNING FOR GOD!
He is my strength! Through HIM, I have been able to do so much. I want to give HIM all the praise!